Jonathots Daily Blog
(3762)
Grateful he was.
Matthew sat quietly in his overstuffed and overpriced first-class seat on the midnight flight from Washington, D.C. to Las Vegas.
The plane was dark. It was quiet. Most of the passengers had taken their tiny element of a sleeping pill and disappeared into slumber.
That was also true of Leonora, who quickly explained that she was exhausted from the audition and needed to get some solid airplane z’s on the trip because she had a meeting the next morning with the symphony coalition, to discuss health benefits.
Her excuse, like every performance in her life, was well-rehearsed and inadequately presented.
As Matthew had gotten to know her, he liked her less and less, and so found himself burying his interest and passions into their sexual adventure.
She was opinionated. Matthew had always viewed himself as open-minded–easy to get along with–but in her presence felt defensive. He hated it when she insisted he start calling her “Leo,” because she viewed herself, in the realm of business, intellect and art, as a lioness.
“You are what you claim to be,” she mouthed.
Matthew nodded, quite certain that many claims were being made every day by mortals which made the heavens laugh.
What really troubled him was when she started calling him “M.”
Just the letter “M.”
When he asked her why she was doing that, she said, “I’m encouraging you to grow. You need to realize that you’re on a journey to fill out your name.”
Matthew didn’t know what the hell that meant, but was in no mood to have it explained further and end up with more dents in his body work. He was also afraid that if she started in trying to become his psychoanalyst, he would have to be more forthcoming and tell her that she was much less than she presumed.
Her oboe playing had never been great, but had become even less proficient as she started to complain about the fellow-members of her quintet and the unwillingness of the symphony conductor to listen to her suggestions on seating and tone.
She viewed Matthew as an ignoramus, even though he had spent many years enjoying classical music, and had a very good friend at the university who was an oboist. Matthew kept his mouth closed except when they were kissing.
It was especially difficult that day, when she met him at the airport, explaining that the audition was long, she had to wait, and then it turned out that she had some sort of microscopic, tiny split in her reed, which prohibited her from gaining the full height and depth of her range. She requested another time to audition but the committee refused. So she failed because they were inconsiderate.
Matthew listened to her rail for a solid hour–against the walls, the furniture, the paint and the chairs that surrounded her, blaming everything she possibly could for her setback–except for the fact that she was insufficient for the moment.
It was the strangest relationship of Matthew’s life. There was a deep-rooted part of him that loved her madly; an exotic jungle passion that nearly left him breathless. But as a human being, she had selected the portions of intelligence that she revered, while ignoring the virtues that make such knowledge applicable.
Matthew remained silent.
Sitting in the darkness of the airplane, glancing over at his sleeping lover, he began to cry. It actually turned into a tiny sob, which he hoped nobody else heard.
He was so embarrassed. He was ashamed–but also enraged, because here he was, with a defunct liver in his body, battling for his life, simultaneously apologizing for breathing.
How in the hell had it gotten so complicated? What was he going to do?
He reached into his pocket and pulled out his own remedy for insomnia–a tiny flask of a brandy which included a shot or two fo sherry. He downed the remainder of the contents and put his head back. Sleep still refused to come–so he cried.
Matthew finally dozed off, with tears streaming down his face.
*****
The following morning, in Washington, D.C., Soos decided to get started on her project.
She thought she had the easiest assignment of all. Michael Hinston, who had been a Congressman, wining and dining lobbyists who were salivating for his vote, now had a humble one-room efficiency at the YMCA. His marriage to the Lutheran minister had been annulled when she discovered all the trials and tribulations chasing him, threatening to destroy his life. She loved him, but she still wanted out.
So he was alone with his twin bed.
Soos called Michael and he agreed to meet with her at ten o’clock A.M., at a little diner he claimed had the best waffles and scrapple on the East Coast. Soos explained she had never eaten scrapple–avoiding it because the ingredients seemed to be the rear-end of every barnyard creature. But Michael said she would probably enjoy this batch.
Arriving at the diner, they found a booth in the back. They embraced–the kind of embrace that merged “old college friends” with some tenderness of man and woman, and a huge immersion in fellow-travelers of faith.
As Michael pulled away he had tears in his eyes.
“Why are you crying?” asked Soos.
Michael chuckled. “Because I can–and I am the luckiest man in the world to be able to cry this morning.”
Soos took the next ten minutes to explain to Michael what had transpired with the abduction and the request made to her–to contact him, the goal being some secret discovery about his involvement, which was beyond her comprehension.
“Well, since neither one of us know what it means, or have any idea of the significance, I think it’s good that we came to eat waffles,” said Michael.
And eat they did. Soos ended up actually enjoying the scrapple, though she thought it was a little salty.
They just talked. It was a conversation that would be difficult to explain to a stranger, so filled with tenderness that it would always be remembered as priceless.
“There was a time in my life,” Michael said, “when if you had told me that some organization or guy had chosen me for special attention, I would have assumed it was just great foresight on their part. I wasn’t just arrogant–I was religious about my arrogance. I actually believed that God wanted me to be the best father in the world. The best husband. The best extra-marital lover. The best Congressman. And of course, the best cheater in Washington, D.C. Sometimes when you’re going for the best you forget that it has to begin with good. You know–good, better, best?”
Soos smiled. She had always loved Michael because he was clever. Unfortunately, cleverness could have dangerous blow-back.
Michael continued. “I almost lost everything. Let me edit my own statement. I did lose everything–but I never actually had it. I just pretended. I pretended so hard that, honest to God, I could not imagine what was happening when my first wife left me for a Lesbian and my second wife left me because I was a criminal. Everybody leaves me.”
He grinned. “And I really can’t argue with them. They’ve got really good reasons.”
“So I don’t know why anybody would want me to do anything. I did fix the radiator in my room, so when winter comes I’ll be warm. That was pretty nifty.”
Michael paused.
“Will you talk to me about Matthew?” he asked. “I don’t think I ever loved a man as much as I love Matthew. I don’t think I ever told him that. I was afraid he would make fun of me.”
Soos giggled and spit out a little bit of her coffee. “He would have.”
Michael chuckled. They sat for a moment. Soos reached over and took his hand.
“He’s dying,” she said.
Michael lifted his head, shocked.
“Not quickly,” she explained. “But his liver is shot to hell, and gradually, he’s just poisoning himself. “And he has a new girlfriend that has the personality of a prickly pear.”
Michael laughed. “What you’re saying is that she is difficult to sit down on and talk to.”
For some reason, Soos found that statement hilarious. She laughed and snorted, gaining the attention of half the diner. A dirty look from the proprietor finally made her sober up.
“I don’t want to get you kicked out of your favorite diner,” she said.
Michael waved her off. “Forget about it. I waffle on my favorite diner.”
He smiled with the innocence of a ten-year-old boy. “What can I do for Matthew?”
Soos considered and then injected, “Got a black market liver in your pocket?”
Michael crinkled his brow. “No,” he said, “but I have a liver in my body.”
“Don’t you need that?” mocked Soos.
“Yeah, but not all of it. I could give him a piece of mine.”
Soos shook her head. “That’s ridiculous, Michael. Anyway, you probably wouldn’t be a match.”
“But what if I was?” queried Michael. “What if I held the key to Matthew’s life the way Jesus held the key for mine?”
Soos groaned, a little disgusted. “So now you think you’re a savior?”
“No,” said Michael. “That job is filled. It just seems like if you could save someone, why not go ahead and do it?”
A lightbulb went off in Soos’s head.
“Oh, my God,” she said. “Is it possible that your part in this, whatever…mission…is to help Matthew and bring him to Jesus?”
Michael teared up again. He took the final bite of waffle laying on his plate, seemingly deserted. He chewed, swallowed, and looked Soos in the eye.
“My dear sister,” he said slowly, “I can’t imagine a greater calling.”
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