Cracked 5 … June 22nd, 2019

Jonathots Daily Blog

(4084)

Cracked 5

Problems that May Arise When Family Come to Visit

 

A.  Though demonic, the children can not be killed off like zombies.

 

B.  An empty toilet paper roll is not grounds for murder.

 

C.  Picky eaters don’t really ever pick.

 

D.  Lack of hot water removes your shower of blessings.

 

E.  Family never tip for services rendered but will gladly offer a poor review.

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Cracked 5 … June 15th, 2019

Jonathots Daily Blog

(4077)

Cracked 5

Important Steps to Being a Good Father

A.  Don’t eat your children.

Cannibalism destroys their self-awareness.

 

B. Do wear pants to the dinner table.

The kids should enjoy their chicken instead of viewing your bird.

 

C.  Don’t murder their mother.

She smells better.

 

D.  Do pay the bills.

The little ones find it difficult to shower with Coca-Cola.

 

E.  Don’t make fun of the shape of their head.

Maybe they will grow into it.

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PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant … August 8th, 2018

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(3759)

Lunchtime

by Jonathan Richard Cring

If Jesus took me to lunch

What would we talk about?

As we sat down there to munch

Would I share my inner doubt?

 

For as much as I appreciate

The forgiveness of my sin

What would be truly great

Is learning how to win

 

I desire to have a lovely soul

Sparkling so sublime

But must the years take their toll?

A wrinkle in my time

 

I want to possess a mother’s voice

Tender, reassuring and kind

But also make a divine choice

In the lover and friend I find

 

The anthems that I raise

As I sing my songs of praise

Always make me smile

But only last a while

 

As Jesus and me break the bread

Will I allow him inside my head?

 

For man does not live by bread alone

And woman is much the same

Flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone

To share a common name

 

So pass the salt, my dear Lord

There’s no one quite like you

For I refuse to become bored

Never aging, always new

Our guest reader is Lisa, a singer/songwriter living in South Florida with her two children

 

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PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant … July 18th, 2018

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(3737)

Found Her Space

by Jonathan Richard Cring

Hustling along the common square

Delirious with hope, yet barely aware

Something living, growing inside

Closing her mind, let it abide

Living in the moment seems safe and sane

Worrying of ‘morrows, what will she obtain?

Did she like her? Did they agree?

For all to see, how can it be

That happiness can end this careless tale

Fools are found to always fail

Just give her a chance to make a scheme

Perhaps a door to allow for her dream

To be what she wanted–no common fool

Find her place in the school

Two, three, four o’clock

One more time around the block

Raincoat sniffs of old worn tires

Almost forgot, then the memory fires

Walking in the open door

There’s the boy–nothing more

No place to go and find retreat

Time and truth finally meet

So girl became a mother

And mother birthed brother

Jarring moment in reality

Mercifully immersed in vitality

Though the freshman lost her place

The lady found her space

Our guest reader is Elizabeth, who lives in Florida with her husband and family

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Cracked 5 … December 19th, 2017


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3526)

cracked 5 logo keeper with border

Very Unusual Birthday Wishes

A. “Thought you were dead. Now that I know you’re alive, it gives me a chance to kill you.”

 

B. “I knew your mother. You could be my bastard.”

 

C. “We baked your birthday cake. Unfortunately, our dog, Fritzenrod, peed on it, so please don’t eat.”

 

D. “I was going to buy you a birthday present–then realized you were not that shallow.”

 

E. “The ancestors of John Wilkes Booth found out you had the same birthday as him. They changed his.

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PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant … August 16th, 2017

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(3400)

See me

See me stand

Just as I planned

Or should I sit

To display my wit

What shall I wear

Will anyone care

And what shall I speak

Aggressive or meek?

When I share

Will others stare

Should I wear a dress

My hair is a tossled mess

Explaining my plea

Please listen to me

For the tale I tell

Must go well

I’ve invested my feelings

Jeopardized my dealings

To gain your ear

Then escape my fear

I’m more than a daughter

Or a human container of water

Not just a wife

Please notice my life

Being a mother

Sons I bore

But look at me

I’m so much more

A sinner saved by grace, tis true

A friend, acquaintance, to many of you

A queen who awakens from foolish dreams

To rule her kingdom without schemes

My heart is thumping

My soul is screaming

This brain is jumping

As my face is gleaming

See me

See clear

See clean

Then I can help you

To be seen

 

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PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant … May 10th, 2017

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(3302)

Mother

There truly is no other

Quite like your earthly mother

She struggles with her life

Lover, healer, giver, wife

Pushing past the pain

The temptation to go insane

She refuses to abandon and roam

But clings to heart and home

Yet there is a human sacrifice

Spilling sugar and sprinkling spice

Life is never what it may seem

Crushed feelings dishonor the dream

But she makes a casserole from the pieces

Her sense of purpose never ceases

She believes in you–no question or doubt

But takes the time to challenge the pout

Year after year a repeating sequel

Working harder but never an equal

For sometimes she feels very sad

When good mingles too much with the bad

But then in a gasp of humanity

She triumphs without vanity

She loves you–yes, you silly one

She tries to make a rainy day fun

So once a year you honor this dear

And ponder amazing things

In awe of the spread of her wings

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